As a foster or adoptive mother your life of motherhood may not currently look like the life you envisioned, especially on Mother’s Day. It may be more than you could ever imagine
Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest things. -Ricki Lake
When you longed for a child to fill your arms and now your arms are never empty from the responsibilities of the day know that your needs matter too.
Know that the stranger at the grocery store would think twice about giving you that displeasing look, that look like your parenting is the reason your child is acting that way, if they could understand what happened in your child’s life before they entered your home.
When only school gets to see the charming, respectful side of your child and not you-know that there is hope that you will see that side of your child too someday.
Know that healing and moving forward from the past is a journey and sometimes all you can do is put one foot in front of the other- holding onto that tomorrow is a new day.
When it feels lonely and impossible, like things will never get better, know that you are this child’s mother for a reason.
Know that a child can have two moms- an everyday mom and a tummy mom and love them both.
When the world doesn’t get how you parent know that you have a voice in educating others to help them understand what you are working to accomplish as a parent.
Know that you are your child’s historian of their past. Your advocacy will be never ending and just as important in the end as when you first started.
When life feels heavy and dark know there are others out there walking the walk just like you.
Know that if you hear the words “you are not my real mom” know that you as a mom are very real.
Last of all when helping your child with their trauma know that healing starts with you first healing you. It’s not about you but at times it will feel like it.
And to all the birth mothers:
Know that many foster/adoptive mothers who hold their child(ren)’s birth mothers in their heart on this day.
A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of the tragedy and the depth of that privilege is not lost on me- Jody Lammers.
Your child’s story started within you. That part is irreplaceable. You may not see your child on this day or any other day, but know you are thought of by others.
Whether you are a foster, adoptive, or birth mom you all are MOMs so here is to you on Mother’s Day.
In the words of Karyn Purvis founder of TBRI (Trust Based Relational Intervention)
Don’t quit! If not you then who?
